No Average Mom

Ages 2 – 3

-Help make the bed (pull covers up)

-Pick-up toys
-Hang clothes on hooks
-Carry laundry to and from the laundry area
-Help feed animals
-Help wipe up spills
-Bring in the newspaper
-Mop a small area
-Pour from a small pitcher
-Help pick up the living room

Ages 4 – 5

Any of the others plus:
-Make their own bed
-Clear dishes from the table
-Set the table
-Retrieve the mail
-Dust the furniture
-Help in the kitchen
-Help carry and put away groceries

Ages 6 – 12

Any of the others plus:
-Take care of pets
-Cook simple foods
-Help wash the car
-Vacuum, sweep and mop
-Clean the bathroom completely
-Rake leaves and shovel snow
-Use the washer and dryer
-Hang and fold laundry
-Take out the trash

I noted in a previous post that I do not tend to refer to tasks I assign my kids as chores. It may be silly but I think this implies drudgery right from the start. Instead I try to put a positive spin on these “assignments” and call them jobs or tasks or whatever pops into my head. We started having our oldest son help out when he was very young and always made it clear that as a family we are responsible for the care of our home and belongings. He is now a very tidy and thoughtful boy about his room and “stuff”. Even a two year old can complete simply tasks like picking up toys and this is a prime age to start getting them involved in being part of “the family”. Make this a fun time and your kids will not battle you. My Mom used to refer to it as “a house cleaning party”. We turn up the radio a bit and try to make it as much fun as we can. The important thing I have found is to guide your child in the step you want completed as part of a task. Sending my son to clean his room is simply to overwhelming and became a battle. BUT if I send him first to put his clothes away, then send him to make his bed, followed by toys up off the floor and on the shelves then suddenly we have a tidy room. Above all realize that it will shatter the spirit of a child if you praise them for a task and they later find you “re-doing” the job they worked so hard on. You have to be happy will less than perfect task completion with younger children. As they age you can expect more and really work on instilling pride in a job well done. If you have superior standards assign fewer tasks to ensure they aren’t feeling overwhelmed and pressured to get it all done. Adulthood brings enough of that pressure let you child be oblivious to it for a bit longer!

A few months ago we instituted a family game night. For Christmas I purchased a number of new family games and gave them “to the family”. So far all the games have been a huge hit. I would rather spend money on things like this that will get used for years rather than the closet full of toys that just sit there. We are huge fans of the Cranium series of games and have had a blast playing: Bumpareena, Whoonu, Cadoo, and Family Fun. We also enjoy Gamesmith games like “In a Pickle“. The 12 Minute Card games are also a really nice option when you don’t want to commit to a long game. Even adults have had fun playing Wig Out and There’s A Moose On The Loose. To mix things up we periodically invite other families over to play or alternate homes. This is also a great way to get the Grandparents to really interact with children on an age appropriate level.

20-Minute Chicken Parmesan

Ingredients:
4 skinned and boned chicken breast halves
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1/2 cup Italian-seasoned breadcrumbs
2 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted
1-3/4 cups spaghetti sauce
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded mozzarella cheese
1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

Directions:
Place chicken between two sheets of heavy-duty plastic wrap; flatten to 1/4-inch thickness, using a meat mallet or rolling pin. Dip chicken in egg, and dredge in breadcrumbs.

Cook chicken in butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat until browned on both sides. Spoon spaghetti sauce over chicken; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 10 minutes. Sprinkle with cheeses and parsley; cover and simmer 5 additional minutes or until cheeses melt.

Notes:
This recipe really was simple to make and quick. It tasted awesome too! The only problem I have is that I have to use more than one skillet to cook the amount I have to cook or cook them in shifts.

A few years ago I started a list of things I would like to try at least once. Over the years I have been fortunate enough to cross several things off my list such as white water rafting and traveling the majority of the country. As my list has continued to grow I have added goals like visiting coastal sites on one of those Crewed Yacht Charters. It sounds so relaxing to be able to just sit back and relax out at sea knowing a true expert is manning things. I think everyone should have a list like this full of ideas they may just dream about and those that are truly something they are working towards attaining. My husband thinks it is funny that I want to travel cross country in the cab of a semi. Again, a few things are just fun to think about and others I know I will get to do. How does one dress for yachting these days?

Our baby does not sleep through the night…

He is just shy of 8 months old and still wakes every 2-3 hours. We have tried everything imaginable to get him to sleep through the night but nothing works. Quite frankly the only place he is content is to be smack dab in the middle of our bed. This is not something that we want to encourage. Staying up all night for months on end has left me drained beyond compare. I frequently find myself in need of some sort of energy boost. I believe that is has now been a year and a half since I had 8 hours of solid sleep. They say pregnancy prepares you for motherhood by keeping you up all night but I don’t think this is quite true. Nothing prepares you for this type of exhaustion. It is funny how you forget about this phase of parenthood once you get a few good nights of sleep under your belt. If anyone has any sure fire tips just drop a comment because cereal, formula, keeping him awake more during the day, and crying it out haven’t worked.

Adapting to a new family member has taken a bit of a tole on our house. It is amazing how much you take for granted your “well oiled machine” of a family until a littel chaos hits. Our family is very structured and we like it that way. We are happier and better people when things move along in a routine manner. Our lack of routine has left me feeling a little stressed. These are a few ideas to deal with stress:

1. Take your time. Give yourself extra time to avoid the feeling of being rushed. Your children will react better in a low pressure setting.
2. Think about whether an issue is really worth worrying about? Save your energy for issues which really matter to your family and let the little things go by.
3. Think positive. When self talk is positive, you are likely to be calmer and more relaxed. For example if you say to yourself “I can do this” or “I’m good at making decisions”.
4. Include relaxing activities in your daily routine. Your children benefit from a period of quiet time every day and so will you.
5. Try a simple relaxation exercise. When you feel tension building, use a quick technique to calm down, such as this breathing exercise.

Two weeks ago my husband and I decided it was time for our 7 year old to begin getting an allowance. He has been learning about money in school and has really grasped the information very quickly. I began to realize that he really needed to get some real life experience with money and an allowance seemed like a great way to provide him with it. I really don’t know (or actually care) what other people consider an appropriate age to begin offering an allowance and think you just know when your child is ready. Furthermore, I don’t really care what other people give their children in terms of an amount. We decided that $2.00 per week seemed reasonable and would be provided under certain conditions. We have a certain standard of behavior that he is expected to maintain in our home and outside of it. This includes behaving in school and completing his work as required. At home he needs to complete tasks when asked and treat us respectfully. I am not a big fan of calling jobs around the house “chores” and prefer to have him understand that as part of a family we are all expected and privileged to be able to contribute to helping the house run smoothly. I believe that instilling a good work ethic is important and that being able to work and be productive is a privilege rather than a “chore”. I want my son to view being active in his home, school, family, and community as something to look positively on and feel good about and try to use positive terminology rather than negative. So far he is incredibly excited about his allowance and even slept with his jar where he is stashing his loot. It is fun to see him putting all the pieces together and begin to understand how our monetary system works. What I believe truly helped was to make sure that before implementing the allowance that he understood that cash or no cash he is expected to behave and contribute to our family and that now the allowance is simply a step forward in his process of maturing.