No Average Mom

Last year I left a highly paying professional job to stay home with our newborn. This was a tough decision financially and caused us to carefully assess our personal finances. Our first area of focus was our loans. By researching refinancing mortgages we found we would incur significant savings. The next big areas we looked at were credit cards and car insurance. After making some changes to our credit card and car insurance providers our bills were dramatically reduced. To make sure we were getting the most return possible on our money we checked into changing savings accounts found a bank offering a much higher rate of return. With some careful planning we are no longer looking at my staying at home as temporary but can now really see it as a long term possibility that makes everyone in our family very happy!

Our littlest man suffers from serious seperation anxiety. I thought it would be interesting to look a little deeper at what this is and what we can do about it. This is a good bit of information to start with:

Separation anxiety is a normal part of development, in which your baby will cry when you leave the room. It normally is at its worst around ten to eighteen months, and then gradually resolves. Your child will become less fearful when you leave her as she learns to remain comforted in your absence and can anticipate that you will always return.

To accustom your child to your absence, practice situations at home where you child is left alone, for example, after she walks into another room. If she cries, call out to her to let her know that you are still around. She will gradually learn that she is still safe, even when you are not present and that you always reappear.

To minimize crying during separations, do not make a big deal when you leave. Try and downplay leaving and have someone distract your child (with a game or favorite toy) after you say good-bye and leave. She will cry as you leave, but should quickly stop and show interest in whoever is watching her once you are completely out of sight.

Just thought I would continue with a few more qualities of great parents. These may seem straight forward unfortunately the world doesn’t always raise children the same as us. Please comment if you think of other qualities.

• Praise your children. When your children learn something new or behave well, tell them you’re proud of them.
• Criticize the behavior, not the child. When your child makes a mistake, don’t say, “You were bad.” Instead, explain what the child did wrong.
• Be consistent. Your rules don’t have to be the same ones other parents have, but they do need to be clear and consistent. (Consistent means the rules are the same all the time.) If two parents are raising a child, both need to use the same rules. Also, make sure baby sitters and relatives know, and follow, your family rules.
• Spend time with your children. Do things together, like reading, walking, playing and cleaning house. What children want most is your attention. Bad behavior is usually their way of getting your attention.

Having a high needs baby has been a real challenge for me. I am someone who is very intune to others but has a definite need for my own space. Having a baby who literally is inconsolable unless on my lap for the majority of the day is sometimes an emotionally draining experience. Few people outside my immediate family are really aware of how difficult this little man has been.

Several months ago we simply left it at “colic” or reflux and moved on letting everyone think he had gotten better over time. It is difficult as a parent to admit that you are tapped dry and just don’t want to hear another suggestion of how to “fix” your baby. Well-meaning as people might be I couldn’t fight back the tears any longer while I smiled and listened to yet another cure for my child (mind you I had already tried everything on the internet on my own). Nor could I bare to listen to good friends, with similar aged babies, tell me how content and happy their “sleeping through the night and napping 4 hours at a time” baby was and let them think mine was the same way.

People will tell you all sorts of things that you should do to make your situation better but few are applicable to your child. Really any experienced parent will know this in their heart . It is just the parent in us that needs to offer some suggestion or help. I would love to see any advocate of the “cry it out” method stick to their guns when they have a light sleeping older child and neighbors living so close you could literally hold hands between houses…

What has made my world easier to stick a label on our situation. Funny, but I loathe labels. In the medical community I have seen diagnosis codes just thrown around and they become the child rather than a part of the child. Reading information on high needs babies and being able to say “that describes him to a tee” just makes it okay when I am up for the 3rd or 4th time in the night to soothe the little man.

Quite honestly as tired and strained as I get I just try to appreciate every moment and know in my heart that it is but a moment in time I am witnessing. It will be exciting to see how his firey little personality evolves over time…

We are working on the 7th month of our littlest man being in the world. He continues to wake every 3 hours to nurse despite having been introduced to a significant ammount of solids over the last few weeks. The pediatrician suggests he simply is hungry due to his over the top of the chart size. I decided to investigate a little further.

This is what the Mayo Clinic says:

he problem of frequent waking

Most children wake up several times during the night. They are capable of falling back to sleep on their own — they just don’t know it. Giving them the confidence and tools to help themselves sleep is up to you.

It helps if you start when they’re still babies. If you routinely put your 7-month-old to bed drowsy but not fast asleep, he or she will be familiar with the feeling of drifting off alone in a quiet room. If you wait a few minutes before responding to middle-of-the-night crying, your 8-month-old may quiet down and doze off without your help.

I still have a couple weeks then LOL

My youngest is now 6 months old this week. Our previous pediatrician had told me at 4 months to start him on solids – veggies, meats, fruit, and fruit juices. I ignored this advice because well like I said he is our “previous pediatrician” . I did give littlest man rice cereal for the last 6 weeks. Yesterday, I decided to introduce sweet potatoes to the mix. He took to them right away.

These are some guideline for introducing solids to infants:

(This advise is for starting at 6-7 months)

4-5 feedings of breast milk or formula (24-32 ounces)

4 or more tablespoons of cereal each day

Now start to give well-cooked, strained, or mashed vegetables or commercially prepared baby foods. Start with one tablespoon of a mild tasting vegetable, such as green beans, peas, squash or carrots and gradually increase to 4-5 tablespoons one or two times each day.

Introduce fruits about a month after gradually increase to 4-5 tablespoons one or two times each day.

Begin to offer 2-4 ounces of 100% fruit juices. Start by mixing one part juice with two parts of water and offer it in a cup.

Obviously consult with your pediatrician for what is best for your kidlet!